Stuck in between
I’ve been a little depressed lately. And the reason is that I feel stuck. My entire life feels like it is stuck in between being a mature adult, and being an immature young adult who is still trying to find out what to do with his life. And being stuck in between, I don’t feel like I can really relate to the people around me who are in one phase or another.
On one side, I have my mature friends. The people I graduated from college with. I don’t really feel like they are more mature than me, but at the same time I do. The problem is that they are all in a different place in their lives than I am. Most of them are married and well established in their careers. A lot of them even have multiple kids. Whereas I’m not married, and I don’t feel all that well established in my career. While they are all building their families and advancing in their chosen careers, I’m still single and still at the bottom of my chosen career path. And as we all get older, I find that I have less and less in common with most of them.
On the other side I have my relatively immature friends. They are mostly younger than me, and haven’t reached the point where they are really working on their future. Mostly they are single and for the most part are still in college. They live from paycheck to paycheck and don’t really worry too much about what they are going to do with their lives. They aren’t really immature, they just haven’t moved past the college phase yet. And the truth is that I really don’t relate to them either. Because I am past the college phase.
My problem is that I’m stuck in between. I’m past the friends who are still in school and are still finding out who they are, but I’m behind the ones who are out their building their lives. And I feel like I’m stuck. I’m too old to go back, but I somehow can’t go forward either. It’s like my life is in a permanent holding pattern. Since I graduated from college, about 4 years ago, almost nothing has changed in my life. Which is depressing. Mainly because I have no idea what I did wrong to be left behind, and I find I have less and less in common with everyone around me. So, I’m feeling a little down right now.
November 3rd, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Remember how when you were a kid you thought adults knew everything, but when you grew up you figured out that adults have more questions than answers? Don’t feel blue. I don’t think anyone ever really “arrives,” either. It just seems to others that they do. If you count me as one of your friends who is settled in a career — don’t! I can see it must be frustrating when many of your friends are married with children and you can’t relate. Surely there are several women who would like to help you remedy that situation. Just remember: being unhappily “stuck” in a marriage is a lot worse than being “stuck” single!
November 4th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
You’re not the only one. I seriously don’t even know what side of the world to live on.
November 4th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
@Michael
I don’t know that I really think anyone “arrives.” It’s just that I don’t fit in anywhere anymore. I don’t relate to anyone around me anymore.
@Ed
At least the things you are doing are something you can look at as valuable. Helping out missionaries and improving the lives of poor people in Uganda. I feel like my life is rather useless right now. Everything I do is just going through the motions. I’m in a holding pattern waiting for something to happen, and yet nothing ever does.